What about Death?
by KK94
Summary: Sometimes, even the toughest, bravest X-Men feel philosophical or emotional at the mention of the end of their lives. Remy and Logan have a talk about what happens. Done completely in speech, whatever the term is called. It's been a while since I watched X-Men so it may be a bit OOC. Rated K for Logan's potty mouth. Short one-shot. ACTUALLY short this time! *fake applause*


(Just a random idea I had at work, please don't kill me for the awfulness of it. Haven't watched X-Men in a while so possible OOC. Just a pure speech fanfic. Should be short. Remy's speech is underlined because I play him. Dedicated to Little Miss Thalia Grace and Nimuethesorceress)

"Logan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you ever wonder what happens when we die?"

A pause.

"What?"

"Do you. Ever wonder. What happens. When. We die?"

"No."

"What's with the weird look, Mon Amie?"

"Why are you asking stupid questions?"

"I don't know... I was just thinking of what happens, you know, after."

"Well, we die, we get buried or cremated, if we get buried our corpses are lowered in a coffin where they slowly rot awa-"

"Yes, yes, I get that part. I mean from our perspective."

"Well... I dunno... I guess we just end or whatever. Why am I even talking with you? This conversation is stupid."

"But kitty-cat..." A pause. "LOGAN! Logan wait."

Another pause.

"Let go of my wrist."

"Are you... are you... crying?"

"Let. Go. Of my. Wrist. Bastard."

"Not until you answer my question."

"NO!" A pause. "Maybe."

"Why?"

"NO! I answered your question, so let go!"

"OK. So why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

A pause. The sound of footsteps.

"Something is obviously bothering you, Mon Amie."

"Will you stop following me?!"

"I could. I won't."

The sound of a growl.

"You can growl all you want, Mon Amie. I won't stop following you until you talk."

"Well it's hard to trust you when you're shuffling those bloody cards. I feel like any second you're going to-"

"Sorry. So..."

A pause.

"You'll laugh."

"Yes, chances are I will now, even if it isn't funny. But I won't tell a soul."

"Mmmmm..."

"I wont! Not even Thalia and Saxon."

"Hmmm... Kay... Got a light?"

"Hold on..." A click and the short sound of a flame. "OK. Now. Why were you crying."

Logan mumbles incoherently.

"What? I can't hear you, Mon Amie."

"Stupid mocking bastard..."

"No, I honestly didn't hear you, Kitty-cat. You need to speak up-"

"OK!" A sigh. "It's just, I do- I don't want to die. I've lived for so long now, the idea of dying scares me..."

"Logan, you're crying again."

"No shit, Sherlock!"

"This... thing. It really bothers you... doesn't it."

"Mmmm." The sound of sniffing.

"Do you... do you want to talk about it, Mon Amie?"

"No."

"OK."

A pause.

"Remy... are you hugging me."

"Well, what does this look like?"

"It looks like you're physically assaulting me with your non-existent man-boobs. Don't look at me like that, bub."

"Yes, I'm hugging you, got a problem with that?"

A grunt.

"Is that a yes, or a no?"

Another grunt.

"I'm just going to keep hugging you anyways."

A third grunt. A pause.

"Remy... Speak French to me."

"What? But you hate it when I speak French. You say it annoys you because you can't understand it, and you don't know whether i'm complimenting or insulting you."

"Exactly. Your stupid language will keep your mind off things."

"French isn't stupid!"

"It is when you use it. Now say something in French."

"Like what?"

"I don't know! Say the first thing that comes to your mind."

"My mind is blank."

"That. Is not. French!"

"Très bien. Mais mon esprit est toujours vierge."

"To answer your question from before, only you would be such an idiotic bastard to not have a single thing on your mind."

"Dit le gars qui a demandé à la personne qu'il déteste physiquement à parler une langue qu'il ne comprend pas."

"Fuck, I've forgotten how annoying this is..."

"Eh bien, je ne vais certainement pas arrêter maintenant, kitty-chat. Vous avez demandé à cet effet. Vous avez fait votre lit étranger, se trouvent maintenant en elle." A pause. "Logan?" Another, longer pause. "Want me to stop now."

"Yes."

"Thought so."

Another pause.

"Just for the record Mon Amie... you shouldn't be afraid. You've lived a long life and, when it does end, it'll be just like falling as-"  
"But what if there is an afterlife?What if I go to Hell?"

A pause.

"Why would you go to Hell, Kitty-Cat?"

"Well, think of all the people I've killed, the lives I've ruined..."

A pause.

"Logan, that was self defense. Those people were going end innocent lives!"

"But-"

"No, Mon Amie, you are a good person with a good heart underneath that macho asshole attitude of yours. And I am certainly not saying there is a God, but if by some coincidence there is, I'm sure he will accept you as you are now."

"Thanks."

A pause.

"I'll wait for you."

"What?"

"If I die first, i'll wait for you."

"You're not going to die first."

"Well, I certainly don't want to lose you, my little pussy-cat. After all, where would my entertainment go?"

A pause.

"Everything you've just said... I... Thanks."

"No problem Mon Amie."

"It was sweet... coming from you."

"Well, what can I say? I have a way with words."

A long pause.

"Um... Wow."

"If you _ever_ tell anyone I just kissed you, I Swear you will pay."

"Oh, I won't tell, Logan. With a mouth like that, I want to keep you to yourself."

A pause.

"I... you... we're not... shut UP!"

"That's a very nice shade of red, Kitty-Cat."

A growl. "Bastardbastardbastard..."


End file.
